"Friend zone, or occasionally friendship zone, is a dating term describing a relation in which one part wants to become intimate while the other prefer just to be friends", or the quick sand zone as I like to call it. I don't know if one of you has ever been "friendzoned", but if you have, well you know It sucks.
I have been friendzoned a few times, and you may ask if it bothers me, well it bothers me like hell. It's hard if you like someone and that person just want to be your friend. And now you will get why I like to call it the quick sand zone. You may think, "ok, he/she is my friend, I can still get him/hem". WRONG! You are going to be polite, give all you've got but the other person will always see you as friend, and you are being just an awesome friend and nothing more. The more you do, the more you sink in to the quick sands of the friend zone. So what to do? How to escape this zone?
I really don't now, I f I had the answer I wouldn't be in a similar situation, but this is how I see the situation. First, there's a big difference between a guys friendzone and a girls friendzone. It's rare to a guy, to just put a girl in that status, but when it happens, the girl is NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, in a total friendzone. She will always be the back up plan (I know guys are assholes).
When a girl puts a guy in friendzone he will be in the false "relationship". This is a "relationship" when you do almost everything in a relation, wait...I said almost....you obviously will not kiss and won't have sex, so no intimacy.
The examples I just gave can be changed of course, but friendzone means NO INTIMACY. Unless you are friends with benefits, and that's an awesome status because you have the awesomeness of a friendship and the intimacy of a relationship (if I can't get in to a relationship with the person I know I prefer to be in this place).
I have a theory about out to get out but it's hard to do when you like the other person. Here's some steps from my theory:
- You don't need him/her. Don't be so available. No one is more important than you.
- You find him/her attractive but there's always competition. Start noticing other people, you are just friends, and noticing other people is a way to say, "ok I'm here for you, but if you don't want me....cya".
- You are a sexual/sensual being. Talk about sex. Talk about the things you like in bed, well talk about it like you are talking about the weather.
- You understand the value of sex with connection. Be romantic, everyone likes romantic things even the most cold person you know.
- You are physically affectionate. Make sure to have some physical contact with the person, like hugging and stuff like that.
- Give conflicting messages that hint your desire. Just joke around and say that He/She can't wear that perfume around you....you get my point.
In theory this could work. But like I said, it's hard to do because if you like this person so much you will always go for the road of romantic stuff. Friendzone sucks, but if you can't win it, you just need to give up, and enjoy the friendship you have with this person.